Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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