You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i dont even know how to be here
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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