actually, I'm a sock model
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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