I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
