But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
