Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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