You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize