Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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