like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
