it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
