his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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