apparently the secret to your success is patron
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
