woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
