She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
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