We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
