I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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