You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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