The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
