so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize
