Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize