This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
