I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
