And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
kristin has been a bad kristin
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
