I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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