I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
