i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
