I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
