She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize