Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
