I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
