Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
