First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
