No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
thus making me awesome and them whores
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
