I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
