Me too!
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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