i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
