Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
