it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
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