But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
So. Much. Porn.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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