I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
