I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
In other news, I just burned my penis
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
