Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
