Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
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