So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
