love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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