dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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