So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You are the jesus of drinking
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
