did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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