I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
operation have a gay friend backfired
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
