their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
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