I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
