We're like a lot better than the average bears
I bet he comes in French.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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