i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
