I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
