summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
