Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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