its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize