Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Boobs are out for the taking
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
