I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
