i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You need Xanax blowdarts
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
