Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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