Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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