Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize