Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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